What the helly?

Serving time in a state prison and a federal prison are two different things. State pens suck. But any time I was locked up doing a county or state bid, I unfortunately knew people everywhere I went. The feds is a whole different animal. The politics are real, and the people you meet are amongst the elite for the most part. Of course, you have the strange ones in the bunch too. While in a detention center, I met this seemingly normal person.

We both arrived at the center together after a two-and-a-half-hour ride in the dog van. So naturally, they put us together in a cell while they got ready to do our intake. I asked him if he’d been here before, because he knew all the officers. He told me he was from this state and had been here before. Now I began asking him questions, trying to understand the lay of the land. During this convo, I got curious, so I asked what he was in for.

He instantly got quiet, then turned to me and started explaining that he has night terrors. At this point, I’m wondering, like, where the f*** is this story going. He continues by saying that his partner knew that he had them, but, I guess, forgot and tried to wake him up. I was like, damn — you killed him for waking you up? WTF. It was pretty shocking, but I’ve been around murderers before, and I was still confused about how it was a federal case.

He continues the story and tells me he took the body across state lines in order to dismember and separate it. At this point, I’m like, what in the total f***. I asked him what part of the jail he thought was the best. He gave me his opinion. After a few more minutes, the officer came to do my intake. I made sure to request the opposite of what he requested. I’m all set!

-TJ