Behind the Number

Writing from inside — daily life, family, food, mental health, and everything in between. Unfiltered, by other humans.

Pursuit of Happiness


Today is September 16th, 2026. For lunch we had chili over rice, cornbread, and cake.

Depression is real, and it affects the best of us. I’ve been in battle with it for the last week. It hits like a thief in the night, coming to steal all your joy and happiness. I believe that’s why people say “the pursuit of happiness” — because being happy all the time is impossible. You have to really find that s**t and want to be happy. No one can really make you happy. You have to want it yourself.

A person can bring you all of your favorite items, take you to a bunch of beautiful places, even tell you exactly what you need to hear — unless you internally flip the mental switch to enjoy it, you won’t.

You have to want that s**t. When you’re a writer and you feel depressed, it is super hard to write, especially if your goal is to motivate others with your writing. Being in jail is depressing, but the majority of us did something to put ourselves here. That doesn’t make this task any easier.

My goal is two-fold: to remind people that just because someone committed a crime doesn’t mean they’re a totally bad person and should be forgotten about, and to remind people in the free world that they are one mistake away from being here.

Don’t let something you do in 30 seconds earn you 30 years. That’s all it takes — to make a quick sale or end another person’s life, accident or not. Life is short enough, and spending 20-30 years of it in a place you don’t want to be sucks, frfr (for real, for real).

So my reminder is clear: Move Smart and Stay Free! Please!!!
-TJ

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