What would Jesus do??

Today is August 25th, 2026. Breakfast was a blueberry muffin, a biscuit, and corn flakes.

S**t was about to go down last night. People will argue over the smallest things because of the hostile environment. But it’s crazy how it came about.

So we was chilling in the dayroom watching Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 on FX. It started as a normal conversation, as it always does. The topic of conversation was so innocent: the Bible and the Blood of Jesus Christ. Yep, they were about to fight over Bible verses.

One of my boys is from Cali — he’s a good dude, very knowledgeable. My other boy I wrote about previously, Mr. 60 Days Left. So 60 started out by going on a rant about Jesus. The thing you need to understand about Mr. 60 Days is that he reads into things a lot — like really reads into things. When he’s done, you won’t be sure you was reading the same book.

Anyways, 60 was doing his normal over-analysis of the Bible. He started saying that Jesus needed to go to Heaven and spray Blood on some books for them to become holy books.

I heard what he said, but I just really wanted to watch the movie — it was my first time seeing it. So I just kept minding my business. However, my boy Cali was like, “WTF you talking about, homie? Where did you read that?”

60 got offended by the question, I guess, because his response was, “Didn’t you read the Bible?” All I could do is sit and listen, but I did turn the TV up a bit because it was getting hard to hear my show.

Cali’s response was, “Yes, I read the Bible, you fat piece of s**t, and that’s not in there anywhere.”

60 then started back his sermon about the reasons Jesus had the crown of thorns, and specific reasons for them nailing his hands and feet, even why it was the right side they stabbed on Jesus.

In my mind I was like, damn, where is he getting this from? I read the Bible before and never seen any of that. Apparently Cali hadn’t either, because he came flying down the stairs, Bible in hand. All I wanted to do was watch this movie.

He stopped right in front of him and handed the Bible to him. “Show me where you’re reading that from, homie?”

60 walked off toward his room. Luckily, he came out with his Bible. He flipped through it and for some reason handed it to me and asked me to read Hebrews 9. Bro, WTF, I can’t read this — it’s in Spanish, plus I have nothing to do with this.

Cali flipped to Hebrews and started reading to himself. He looked up at 60 and just walked off, went to his room. At this time it was a commercial anyway, so I went and grabbed my Bible to see what it said.

After reading, I looked at 60 and had to ask, “Bro, what does this have to do with all that s**t you was just saying?”

He looked at me shocked and said, “It’s right there, bro — verse 20 and 21.”

“60, these verses do not say anything about Jesus spraying his Blood all over Heaven. You making it sound like a sci-fi movie, bro.”

He grabbed my Bible, looked at it, looked back at me, then went and got on the phone. Fifteen minutes later he came back like, “My fault, bro, it’s Peter 1, verse—”

I immediately stopped him. “60, I don’t care. This is between you and Cali.”

When I said this, all I heard from upstairs was, “I’m not arguing with that fat piece of s**t,” then he slammed his door.

60 turned to me and whispered, “What would Jesus do?”

I replied, “I don’t know — spray his Blood on both of y’all to make y’all holy.”
-TJ